February 2012
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January 2012
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December 2011
13 posts
Why you should never drunk text a Whovian.
A friend of mine randomly got a drunk text from a stranger. She then did something that has earned my respect and awe. A transcript of her conversation follows. Some of this may be familiar to you.
Warning: VERY LONG. Also, words that I don't like have been bleeped out. Use your imagination.
[Transcript] Drunk Person: "tortyly drunk riht now. straight men everwhere."
Erykah: "Oh, thank God! I finally made contact! Listen, I need your help, but you're in great danger."
DP: "ni**a say wat?"
E: "Listen, my name's the Doctor. I'm a time traveler, or I was. I'm stuck in 1969 with my friend and I need your help to get my spaceship back."
DP: "u hav a spceshit?"
E: "Yes. It's a big blue box that says 'Police Call Box' on it."
DP: "dat doesnt sound liek a spceshp. gay."
E: "Hey! Don't diss the TARDIS!"
DP: "tarsiddd???"
E: "No. TARDIS. Time And Relative Dimension In Space. You see, I'm a Time Lord from ANOTHER planet called Gallifrey."
DP: "y u not there now?"
E: "Well...A long time ago, there was a war and all my people died except for me. I'm the last Time Lord. So I travel through time and space lending a hand wherever I can."
DP: "woahhhh. thats relly sad."
E: "Yes, it is. But now is no time to cry. You're in a lot of danger and you need to help me."
DP: "waot. how r u in 1996?"
E: "I'm in 1969. And it's really complicated."
DP: "oh."
E: "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff."
DP: "im cofussed."
E: "Well, try and keep up! Never mind the wibbly stuff. All that matters is that they've taken it! The angels have the phone box."
DP: "wut angels?"
E: "Have you ever seen like a statue of an angel? At a church or a cemetary or something?"
DP: "ya."
E: "Well, they're not angels. They're creatures from another worlds. Aliens like me, except they're very, very bad."
DP: "dat maeks sense. they alwys creepeed me out. i thought theyre jus statues tho."
E: "Good eye, you've got. But they're not. They're only statues when you're looking directly at them. Once you look away, they become deadly."
DP: "whaaa?"
E: "Listen, Lonely assassins, they were called. No-one knows where they came from. They're as old as the universe, or very nearly. They've survived this long as they have the most perfect defence system ever evolved. They are quantum-locked. They don't exist when being observed. The moment they're seen by any other living creature they freeze into rock. No choice. It's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn to stone. And you can't kill a stone. Course, a stone can't kill you either. But then you turn your head away, then you blink, and oh, yes it can! Notice how they always look like they're crying in the cemetaries? They're always covering their eyes?"
DP: "dats nuts! ya, ive seen dat."
E: "There's a reason for that. They're not weeping, they can't risk looking at each other. Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen. The loneliest creatures in the universe. And I'm sorry, I am very, very sorry, it's up to you now.
DP: "but wut can i do? tis was all thrustted uopn me!"
E: "The blue box, it's my time machine. There is a world of time energy in there they could feast on forever. The damage they can do can switch off the sun. You have got to send it back to me!"
DP: "ahhhhhh!!! im scrrd! idk wut 2 do! im srsly gon hav a pnic attck."
E: I'm afraid I can't help you any further. I'm stuck in 1969, but I think you're clever enough to think of something. FIND THE BLUE BOX AND GET IT BACK TO ME! The angels have it and you NEED to find it or it's all going to be over."
DP: "dont go doctr! help me!11211!!"
E: "They're coming. The angels are coming for you. But listen, your life could depend on this. Don't blink! Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and don't blink! Good luck!"
DP: "ik! angels hng out in gravyards rite? ill check thar 1st."
E: "Wherever you feel the need to look. I have no idea because I'm trapped 42 years in the past. Wherever you do go, just remember DON'T BLINK."
DP: "omfg. holy shit. i'll find teh box and teh angels and ill text u wen i find it. goodbi doctr. uve liked changgged me life."
[/Transcript]
1 tag
imagine, if you will, a WORLD WITHOUT WOOD
That WOOD be horrible, truly PULP fiction. Such a world must be SPRUCED up TREEmendously. YEW won’t hear any argument from me, a world without wood shivers me TIMBERS. I won’t CYPRESS mention of this POPLAR topic, but ALDER other people usually ASH me better ones. Get off my page, FAGOT, before I POST you on the internet and BILLET at the movies. I’m LARCH and in charge and if...
7 tags
What if the the voice for the computer on board...
cephalopodgal:
watchingtng:
“There ain’t no sucka named Dr. Quiace in my records!”
“Beep Boop Sucker, quit yo Jibba Jabba the time is 9:00”
“The life support’s all messed up on Deck 4, I pity the fools on Deck 4!”
why can’t i stop laughing
ltalian:
SLAP SLAP SLAP
CLAP CLAP CLAP
omfg
11 tags
October 2011
4 posts
1 tag
formspring.me
!gnihtyna em ksA http://www.formspring.me/homfrog
1 tag
formspring.me
!gnihtyna em ksA http://www.formspring.me/homfrog
ALERT ALERT
ghostorballoon:
WHITE MALE BILLIONAIRE DEAD. EVERYBODY BE SAD NOW FOR SOME REASON. THINK OF PRODUCT. HOW ALONE PRODUCT IS NOW. REMEMBER WALL-E???? MY GOD DON’T YOU REMEMBER WALL-E?!?!???
1 tag
good verse dickhead.
Love people are there
The smell of love is everywhere
!gnihtyna em ksA
September 2011
10 posts
3 tags
Holy crap
Have I really not posted in two weeks
This needs to be fixed
1 tag
If ideal partner = pony, then which pony?
Uh. Twilight. Powerful and nerdy. Yes B)
!gnihtyna em ksA
1 tag
HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA
Tunak tunak?
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1 tag
That Luna's a bloody spy!
Did she get backstabbed? :O Else why would she be bloody?
!gnihtyna em ksA
1 tag
When it comes to money, are you a spender or a...
I’m a saver.
!gnihtyna em ksA
1 tag
That Demo's a bloody spy!
I always used to think that “Demo” Man meant he was the only playable character in the demo of the game, as in a preview. As opposed to Demolitions.
!gnihtyna em ksA
1 tag
Check out my new profile photo and respond!
I like it! It’s a very studious dragon.
!gnihtyna em ksA
August 2011
35 posts
1 tag
The human form is disgusting and inefficient? How...
It’s hella flawed and gross. Just look at all these substances I secrete! And the backaches, the junk DNA, the problems with the senses, the sheer psychology of it all, the size of the microbiome, the vestigial organs, the leftover stuff from way back when, the headaches, the manner in which we age, the amount of ways in which we can be killed. Plus, as a matter of personal preference,...
1 tag
formspring.me
!gnihtyna em ksA http://formspring.me/homfrog
1 tag
What do you wish you were better at?
Optimism
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1 tag
ALL HAIL MEGATRON
No thanks!
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1 tag
What would happen if Bob Ross met the...
I don’t know what that means.
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1 tag
Do you like to play video games?
Hardly, I only really play Minecraft, and even /that/ is not so fun anymore.
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1 tag
Describe your ideal partner in 10 words or less.
The human form is disgusting and inefficient. Thus, a pony.
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1 tag
What are you most talented at? What do you want to...
I’m talented at computers and I want to be more proficient at schoolwork
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1 tag
What one place would you go on hoiliday to if you...
New Zealand?
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1 tag
You have to spend the rest of your life with one...
Person? A real life person? :S
I choose ALXXMaXX
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1 tag
How would you tell your crush that you like them?
Pop the can open and drink it
!gnihtyna em ksA
1 tag
What is the most beautiful thing you have ever...
Beautiful…?
I’ve seen plenty of cute things, and plenty of sexy things, but beautiful… beautiful’s somewhere in the middle. Um…
The planet Earth.
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1 tag
What is the strangest thing you have ever seen?
A bird flew in front of a microwave radio dish and got all freaked out and crashed because the microwaves heated it up
!gnihtyna em ksA
1 tag
Best quote from a movie/lyric from a song that you...
A still more glorious dawn awaits
Not a sunrise, but a galaxy rise
A morning filled with 400 billion suns
The rising of the milky way
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1 tag
Would you rather have the ability to dance any...
Probably dance because I can’t dance while friendship can be obtained naturally
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1 tag
Would you like to believe the Earth tuuuuuurns...
The Earth actually turns rather fastly.
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1 tag
Would you rather be able to fly a helicopter, a...
A large commercial jet because it’s what I’m most likely to need to pilot among those three choices, the other two being far less likely.
!gnihtyna em ksA
1 tag
What would your perfect day be like?
Too indescribable.
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1 tag
What one thing is guaranteed to make you smile...
DERP NERPEM
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